


Serendipity

by FenryrFox



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 09:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenryrFox/pseuds/FenryrFox
Summary: AU - Once in a lifetime we come across someone who changes our entire life. For Squall, in particular, it's impossible to go back or forget. As if dealing with his own problems weren't enough. Still, that spark of hope remains, so he knows Seifer is out there somewhere. He just has to go out and find him.





	1. Prologue

**Hey guys.  This goes without saying, but I don't own Final Fantasy, etc.**  
Either way, I hope you guys enjoy Part One of the prologue and then continue on to Part Two.  


* * *

 

 

_It was in the unconventionally shaped flower bed on the northern side of the cemetery where I finally realized that my reason for living had vanished right before my eyes. There were a plethora of thoughts running through my head, but I couldn't form spoken word, nor solid thought, out of them. My mind was racing, but my thoughts were vacant. It was like I wasn't there; like I wasn't really thinking at all. I kept wondering why I couldn't hear anything, but my eyes wouldn't leave that covered six-foot-deep hole in the ground._  
  
  


_From where my eyes were resting I couldn't see anyone else around. It didn't matter, really. They could have left me here if they wanted to. I wouldn't question it, nor would I object._

_I noticed the sunlight coming from overhead was fading slowly, and being replaced promptly by an eerie glow. I looked around me and saw that everyone was indeed gone. Everyone except of course, for my mother, who was standing beside me, still silently crying, but no longer wanting to be there. Yet she would stand there and wait for me, until her dying breath if that's how long it took._

_My eyes drifted back to the bouquet of tulips and daffodils that sat atop the freshly laid dirt. The single, thin, baby blue ribbon flapped in the wind, but then ceased, and there was silence._

_I looked up, ahead of the hills, and saw the moon, an imperfect Crescent, was standing smugly where the sun should have been. Without moving my eyes, I murmured to my mother. "Where is she?" I didn't need to be any more specific. Mother knew who I was talking about._  
  
  


_"She went home with your aunt. I thought it would be best for tonight." I didn't respond._

_I couldn't tell her my feelings about that. I didn't have any._

_I turned around and walked down the hill, close to, but not on, the paved stone path leading down to the parking lot. I noticed my family car a stone's throw away and walked over, opened the door in one liquid movement, and looked inside. The car seat was still placed in the back on the driver's side, but the seat next to it was now empty._  
  
  


_It would be empty, I figured for the rest of the car's lifespan._

_I sat down in the front passenger side and allowed my bare, hollowed thoughts to occupy me until my mother finally got down here to join me in the car._

_She started up the engine without a word, not even reminding me to put my seatbelt on, like she religiously did. She backed up, and together we headed home. Or so I thought- instead we pulled up to a privately owned burger joint and sat at a table, staring blankly at the menu, listening to the other diners frolic merrily._  
  
  


_I stared at the metallic napkin container as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Staring blankly back at my dead-pan expression. I looked horrible. I felt horrible. I stared at myself, completely disregarding anyone and everyone who walked passed. My mother knew what I would have. She knew I would hardly eat it, too. What she didn't know, though I did, even then, was that I would only be half the person I was._

  
  


That was ten years ago.

On this particular day, the anniversary of his death, I lay here, where the flower bed used to be, staring at the sky, watching the clouds pass by without a care in the world. The weather couldn't be any more perfect. Everything felt numb- comfortable. I suppose I'd rather feeling nothing than pain.  
  
  


I watched the clouds pass by, shapes floating along the sky, drifting along without a care in the world. That sounded wonderful- I would have liked to be like that too, one day. The day soon ended, leaving me lying there alone with even the sun leaving me behind. As the sun hid behind the clouds, I realized that tonight it would indubitably storm. The rain would fall, and the lightning would strike, and the world would stop to make way for the storm to pass. The night's sky would so strongly resemble the sea on a night like this. They would merge together and be impossible to tell apart. They would transfuse and become inseparable.  
  
  


I sat up and brushed off my shirt, getting rid of the weeds that collected on my stomach. There was a bug on me, so I picked up and placed on a flower nearby. He'd be happier there than on me, anyway. I got up and walked down the path, which had since been repaved and improved with more details. I saw my car sitting across the parking lot. In the shade underneath the large weeping willow tree, which leaned largely to the left. If you hadn't seen this tree before, you would have thought it was falling over. In fact, as a child, I truly believed this tree was crying. Irony, really, that the tree that was deemed least likely to make it was the one that was striving.  
  
  


My red, 1998, Ford Escort sat there gathering loose leaves that were floating across the open air. I didn't bother to wipe them off. I got inside and looked at the blank radio panel. I turned the key in the ignition and backed out of my parking spot. I headed down the street, not bothering to turn my turn signal to make my way onward, down the main street. There wasn't anybody out here.

I looked at the clock, which was a few minutes off. Honestly, I wasn't sure how to fix it. I don't think I would have even if I knew how. I drove about a mile heading north, and turned on the next route, heading east, to the ocean. When I had arrived everyone was starting to leave. It would be a good walk without the noise of all the usual beach-goers. No kids would be a nice bonus too. Kids were noisy creatures. I popped the trunk and walked to the back of the car. I pulled off my tennis shoes and placed them inside, grabbing my jacket, I closed the trunk and headed out for my walk.

I carried my jacket for now, since it wasn't so cold… yet. The sand was still warm on my feet. I headed closer and closer to the shore, watching the people gathering up their beach towels and heading back to the parking lot. Some were still hanging out at the burger shack, sipping on their drinks, nibbling on their pizza slices. Seagulls were flocking over abandoned fries on the boardwalk, calling friends and family over to enjoy the feast together. I wondered if they knew the rain was coming. I wondered if they knew or even cared.

It was peaceful, the calm before the storm. As I headed farther down the beach, I saw fewer and fewer people. The sun was still going down, leaving me in the dark. The street lights along the boardwalk were turning on one by one. The water splashing against my bare feet was cold, much colder than I anticipated, but I decided to deal with it until I could adapt to it. The air was fresh and the smell of salt was strong. The water was seeping up my pants leg, but despite the cold, I strutted forward, making my way to whom-knew-where.

I figured I would walk until the end of the beach, which was only signified by a bridge with a sign above it, welcoming people into the town. That wasn't too far from here, and then I would turn around to go home. A short walk, but it was something. The wind picked up, and the smell of the salt was making me thirsty. I headed off the shoreline, and stopped by a little seaside shop, I felt I was bothering the girl who was working there, since they were in the midst of cleaning up and closing for the night. After ordering my medium sized beverage, I left my change from my gil in the tip jar as a consolation. I headed back onto the beach, walking passed the sand, which no longer felt like it was there at all. I got back to where I was walking before, heading down the waterline of the beach.

About 30 minutes later, I had made it to the end of the beach, nonchalantly sipping my Pepsi as I traveled. I turned around, having no further to go, and headed back to my car. I threw away my empty cup and saw the reflection of the flashes of lightning on the metallic. I looked up, missing the lightning, but still able to hear the thunder. I continued walking on the sand, avoiding the water this time, considering I wasn't suicidal.  
  
  


The rain fell down, but I continued looking ahead, but my ability to determine distance was extremely limited. I headed down the sandy beach, letting the streetlights guide me back to parking lot XVI. I made it all the way down to parking lot XVIII when I saw someone heading toward me. As far as I could tell, it was someone big. Definitely a man. I was pretty certain I was going to be the only person on the beach tonight, so his presence surprised me a little.

I hesitated slightly. Then continued as if nothing was happening. I was slightly intimidated, I'll admit, but somehow I knew in my blood that I would be just fine. That fleeting thought of danger left me and I was assured of serenity. He was a blond guy, though his hair was darkened by the moisture- short hair as far as I could tell. He was a tall guy, big and bulky. Compared to me, and my 5'8" frame, anyway.  
  
  


We came within two feet of each other and we both stopped. "Hello." His voice was deep, and low pitched. He raised an ironic eyebrow as he talked. If he were a woman, I would assume he was challenging me. However, he was more of a man than I was, and I was flabbergasted over everything about him.

I nodded in greeting, which seemingly disheartened him. He looked up and down the boardwalk and looked back at me.

"That way leads to the twenties, right?" He asked, hesitantly. I hoped he didn't want to depend on me to tell him directions, but he didn't really seem that interested in the setup of the beach's parking lots anyway. He had come walking down from the opposite direction, seeing the signs as he traveled. He knew what he was doing. He probably had no other way to start a conversation. I determined later, that was his goal all along.

I once again nodded, but he was still unrelenting in his attempts to get me to communicate. "I'm on my way to Winhill." He explained.

"Okay...?" I said in an exaggerated, bored tone, shifting my weight to my other foot in order to feel comfortable again. What the hell did he want? Couldn't he just go to that rundown shack and leave me the hell alone? Of course, I had never been to Winhill, I had simply heard someone mention it once or twice. It was nothing special. Just a run-down pile of shit.

"Well, do you think you could help me out?" He looked up, toward the sky, having an extremely distant, blasé look on his face. If he was trying to piss me off, he certainly accomplished his goal. This man, who I had never even thought of in my entire life was standing here, asking me to help him get into a derelict place like Winhill, on another fucking continent. He was out of his fucking mind, and I was about the same for standing here like a dumbass, listening to him and his bullshit. I hated this jackass and I wanted to get the fuck out of here. I spread my legs farther apart, preparing my body to look bigger and more threatening.

"What the fuck? Are you aware you're not even on the right continent? Do you have any fucking idea what you're talking about?" I realized just how weird that must have been for him, almost. I figured, as weird as it had been for this random guy to approach me in the middle of the night, during a heavy thunderstorm. Though, as I stopped to notice, the rainfall had finished completely. The air was still moist and the smell of the wet sand overpowered the salt. I didn't particularly like this smell, but it didn't bother me either. The storm had come to an end and I hadn't even noticed. He was still standing there, looking at me, as if neither of us had said a word.

"Well, where are you headed?"

"Balamb." I don't know why I told him. Maybe it slipped out before I could think of a good lie.

_Maybe, even then, I wanted him to know._

He smirked a little. "Well, shit, there's a dock in Balamb, right?"

"There's docks everywhere on the coast, asshole." I started walking again, this time with the full intent to find my car and get the hell out of here. I don't think I would ever come back- not after this shit. He completely ruined the concept of this place for me. So much for peace and quiet. Much to my dismay, he followed me.

"C'mon, just let me hitch a ride to you to Balamb." His whiny voice didn't suit him at all, and it was irritating.

"Look, buddy," I grunted turning around. "I don't even KNOW you. Get the fuck out of here before I call the cops." I didn't know if I was really in a position to be making threats, but I was too frustrated to care. Never in my life had someone been this irritating to me. Never before had someone lit my fuse as quickly as this stranger had. He stopped following me- but only because I stopped walking. When I turned around to continue on, he pursued me once again.  
  
  


I made it to my car and simply got in, locking the driver's seat door as I sat down. I always kept the other doors locked, so I was good for now. He just stood there, though, watching me pull out of the driveway. Before I knew what was going on, he jumped behind my car, and I was going to slam right into him. I slammed on my breaks and let out a high-pitched scream at the steering wheel. I rolled my window down, "What the fuck is your problem?" I roared, loud enough for anyone on the beach to hear- if there was anybody- highly doubtful.  
  
  


"I have about 2500 gil. It's yours if you take me to Balamb." Although 2500 gil wasn't much to wave a stick at, the fact that he was trying to make offers made me all the more irritated, my mind was becoming exhausted. I didn't feel like yelling anymore. All his offenses would be forgiven- for now. I let out a long sigh. There was no way I could escape. I figured if his psychopath was going to kill me, he would have done it already. If I drove him to Balamb, maybe, just maybe, he might leave me the fuck alone. That, or I could just ditch him somewhere. I didn't know what other choice I had. I somehow knew that I was going to regret this.  
  
  


I leaned over and unlocked the passenger's seat door. I sat back down and stared blankly at the steering wheel. He took quite a while to open the door. Maybe he was surprised; then again, maybe he was gloating. I didn't look to find out, after all. He closed the door behind him, and stared at me, from what I could see from my peripheral vision. I refused to look at him. I refused to even acknowledge his existence. I backed up and drove off the beaches' parking lot to the highway, which was empty at this time of the night. I glanced at the clock, reading 3:15. It was about two thirty in the morning then.

While keeping my eyes on the streetlight lit road, I pushed the radio's button in. The volume was down, so I turned it up to hear louder static. I made a left turn and started thumbing at the radio selection buttons. I wasn't getting any reception.

"Maybe you should pay attent-"

"Shut the hell up, asshole. I'm doing what you want, so just shut up."

"But-"

Too late. We both jerked forward, and I almost came in contact with the windshield. The horrible crashing noise echoed through the interior, forcing my teeth to grind together with animosity. As the passenger's side collided with the tree, all I could think about was whether or not I was going to live. Part of me also wondered about my, for the most part, unwelcome passenger, but it was his own damn fault for wanting this stupid ride so bad. It wasn't that bad of a crash, but it was enough to total the car. I looked to the right of me and saw him sitting there, with, not a smug look, like I had expected. Just an empty, blank stare. Deadpan. It suited him better than his whining at least.  
  
  


"Sorry. I jinxed you."

It struck me a little peculiar that I wasn't angry. I was entirely calm about the whole thing. Maybe it was because I deserved it. Maybe I was just out of touch with reality. Whatever it was that made me shrug it off as nothing, it was a powerful force. I stared at the blond stranger beside me. He looked familiar. Maybe I went to high school with him. There were a lot of people whose faces I had forgotten who recognized me.

"...Shut up, asshole." Except this time, it wasn't particularly meant to be insulting.

What could I do? He was right. I opened the door and got out of the car. He followed suite and together we stared at it. It was scrap-metal now. It was an older car- not even worth fixing. I shrugged to myself. I wondered what he was thinking about my lack of emotion over this. Maybe I had just overexerted myself and wasted my energy on him.

"Well, we can't just leave it here." The man I now referred to as "wise idiot" mumbled. He got behind the car and started to push it off the road. Not that it was that far away in the first place.

He was a big brawny guy so it was hardly anything for him. Big Ogre- that's what he was. After he finished pushing the car he shrugged at me. "I suppose you should have this towed."  
  
  


"I'll do it tomorrow." I meant 'possibly later today' but that didn't feel as good on the tongue.

"Well, less talkin', more walkin'." He grunted and walked over to me. He took my arm and forcibly turned me around. For some reason, this didn't bother me as much as I thought it should. Perhaps it was because his personality thus far had been extremely assertive. Perhaps it was because I didn't have any ideas of my own. Was I really that susceptible to his personality?

"Hold on a second." I pulled away from him. I got back in the car and attempted to pull out the key. It wouldn't budge. Shit.  
  
  


"It's no use. It's not going to start." He grunted at me.

This time, instead of my usual barking at him, I answered him calmly. "I'm not trying to start it. I'm trying to pull the key out."

"Let me try." I looked at him, shrugged and backed out of the car. He slipped in and gripped the steering wheel nice and tight. He gave the key a good yank and out it came.

"...Thanks." I took it from him and opened the trunk for the final time. I pulled out my shoes and tossed them on the ground. It was only then I realized I had been driving barefoot. I tossed my cheap windbreaker jacket back in the car, never caring to see it again. I slipped the shoes right on without untying them. I closed the trunk and followed the idiot down the highway. I didn't know why the hell I was following him. I didn't know where the hell he was going, and I was better off just going back to the beach and sleeping on the sand. Instead, there I was following him along. Was I drunk?! What the hell was wrong with me?

I watched him walk from behind, seeing his arm muscles rippling with each swing. His legs were just as muscular. He was one of the smarter dumb guys who knew if he worked too much on upper body, his legs would become his weak point. He was attractive, yes, but that wasn't why I was staring. He looked like him. So much like him. Even if it was just from behind. He looked so much like--.

I felt my body rip in two. My inner thoughts and feelings were splattered on the ground, regurgitating all their contents out and all over the place. What was left, my carnal bodily desires, slipped me into a subconscious state, and I reached for him. I wanted to feel his skin underneath my fingertips, wanted to feel the warmth of his body heat. Wanted to feel him breathing, alive again.  
  
  


"What?" He said, turning around to face me. He didn't have a condescending or mocking expression like I had expected, rather, he was calm, and trying to be understanding.

The pieces of my body formed back together, making me whole again. I had never been so embarrassed, and trying to hide it from him was no easy task. He just shrugged, and smiled at me, as if it was perfectly normal to just try to touch someone like that. Well, I supposed for this man, who had so openly approached me for a ride to a run down hell hole like Winhill, it **was** normal.

"W-walk slower. I'm tired and can't keep up." A lame excuse, and an embarrassing thing to say, but he bought it like it was the last one on clearance. We walked then, side-by-side instead of me behind him. Luckily, we came across a 24-hour diner a ways down the street from my totaled car. It wasn't until seeing it that I realized how hungry I was. I hadn't eaten anything all day.

"Let's stop and eat." He said, in an authoritative tone that made my body obey without question, not that I would have done anything else. I was starving. His voice surprised me though, it wasn't the whine he had given me earlier, rather the tone of someone who was meant to lead a congregation to salvation. I didn't know this man, and yet I believed everything he said, just because of the way he said it. What the hell was I? A sheep? I hoped he wasn't a wolf.

He sat at the bar, swinging his right leg over the stool to sit. He was left-brained then. That made sense: He probably had type A blood- he seemed to have a type A personality, at least. He was probably a Capricorn. I recognized the stern look, the arch of his brow, and the 'born in the wrong time' mannerisms. I liked presuming things, as it saved me from having to ask later. I was guessing, though. I could be completely wrong and I wouldn't know about it. I didn't even know his name, after all. I glanced at the menu without reading it. It wasn't necessary to read something that was the same everywhere. The blond next to me didn't bother with it either.

He had very predominant eyes. My attention was drawn to them instantly. He had the eyes of a woman, seductive and mysterious. His long, dark eyelashes didn't help anything. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn he was wearing makeup. His head didn't turn, but I saw the sudden movement of his irises. "Stormy ocean water"-- That's what the color would have been called, you know, if it was a crayon or something stupid like that. He stared at me, and I stared at him, wondering what he was thinking until a portly man came over to ask us what we wanted to order.

"A burger and fries." We said that at the same time, and I was nearly positive the man was as weirded out by that as I was. Not that it was hard to do, what the hell else did they have? I glanced at the menu again and saw a bunch of things I didn't even remember existed. I ignored it and continued to keep my gaze forward and away from the idiot beside me.

The man left to make our burgers, and the blond reached in front of my face, making me flinch and duck backward. He grabbed a napkin and straw and I relaxed again. I leaned forward, holding my chin with my elbows resting on the counter. "So..."  
  
  


I turned to him, raising an eyebrow slightly, trying to get him to cut to the chase. "You got a name?" His smirk resting on his lips looked completely natural and anticipated.

I let out a cocky grunt. "No." I reached over and grabbed the silverware wrapped up in a napkin from the bar seat next to me. I unwrapped it using only my thumb. I folded the napkin, laying my silverware out atop it. Forks to the right, to the right of the knife, as I was trained to do from a young age.

"Alright then." He leaned on his elbows too, which I found irritating for whatever reason. He attempted to keep himself entertained by staring at his straw on top of his napkin, but he couldn't. Instead, he turned back to me and stared at the profile of my face. I continued to stare forward, unwilling to meet his glance, but from the corner of my eye, I saw him staring. The way he was staring at me was so intense. It was like he was the devil and he was watching, waiting for me to sin. Like he was preying on me and I was becoming more like a fish in a barrel every second.

Without even noticing, my entire head had turned, and there we were. Staring contest, winner claimed everything. It was like a heated battle; the only word I could use to describe it would be, "Armageddon". The clanking of two plates on the polished wooden counter broke both of our concentrations immediately. Our eyes, instinctively, looked to see the noise. I found it strange those instincts remained. Our food had arrived, simply enough. It saved us from the long and grueling battle that our minds wanted so desperately. What was it about him that made me like this? Just because he was irritating was no reason to be so passionate.

I shrugged it off and picked up my silverware. I cut the burger using my knife and picked it up to eat with my fork. I heard him snicker beside me and turned to look at him, fork still in hand. He was looking at me, while simultaneously dabbing the fat off his meat patty with his napkin.  
  
  


"Come from a line of rich people?" He asked me, motioning with his head to my fork.

"No," I answered and looked back to my fork's contents. "Come from a line of fat people?" I asked in rebuttal, even though I knew that wasn't fair. I opened my mouth and ate my burger, he didn't seem to be insulted, rather, he took it as an opportunity to talk. I should have figured he would have.  
  
  


"Well, I don't know. My father was built bigger like me, I guess. I don't know about my mother, she died a long time ago, and I can't remember her too well. I used to not be able to eat... things like this, at all. I'm just taking precautions, if I gain too much, I'll be useless." Even though I didn't know what he meant, I figured he was talking about how perfect he wanted to look. He had to use his body for his line of work, because he was a big guy, that sort of thing was expected. He had to have worked out and all that, because muscle really couldn't be given as a gift without the effort of the body.

"...Whatever." He didn't have to know how I felt about that. I finished off half of my burger and decided to eat the fries. I reached for the ketchup, but it was a bad time to do so. Our fingers touched, and it sent shock waves through me. I couldn't move or think. I was completely and utterly thunderstruck--frozen by the contact. His fingers were cold and thick. My fingers were a stark contrast, and they longed and yearned to be closer, as close as they could get to his. Like opposite sides of a magnet.  
  
  


We both sat there, still, unwilling to pull our hands away. Unwilling to let the feeling of unity and euphoria end. My fingers retracted, making a loose fist, and retreated slowly. His fingers spread out and slipped down on his lap.

_Why?_

He took the ketchup bottle and slid it over to me. It was one of those annoying glass ones you had to pound off things to get anything out of. I smacked it against my other hand and shook it over my plate. I always felt like such an idiot when I did shit like that. I placed the lid back on and shoved it in his direction, and began to eat my fries.

He ate slowly, I noticed. Like he wanted his meal to last longer. He was a big guy, and I doubted this was enough to fill him if he was actually hungry. It wasn't a small burger by any means, but it wasn't quite enough. I polished mine off while he still had a quarter of his food left to go. He had a distant look while he ate. Chewing slowly, savoring his meal. The look across his features told me maybe he wasn't enjoying it at all. He didn't look disgusted or anything- just not fulfilled.

He swallowed his last bite and wiped off his mouth with a clean napkin. He reached over for the bill and dragged it back to his side of the table. He flipped it over and reached into his pocket. I watched him pull out more than I thought was reasonable, so I dragged the bill over closer to me. It was only 500 gil. A reasonable enough price. The idiot, however, already left the whole 500 gil on the table and was calculating the tip.  
  
  


"No way," I said, pushing his money back over. I reached into my own pocket.  
  
  


"It's okay. I got it." He stated. I realized his wallet was filled to the brim. He had a hard time closing it. I hated the fact that he wanted to buy me dinner. I hated it so much. I didn't care who had more money on them.

"I come from that well-to-do family, remember? I'll pay for it." I laid down the 600 gil and he let his shoulders shrug.

"All right, rich-boy." He stood up. "But I'm paying for the hotel, okay?" He pointed with his thumb to a small motel across the street. It wasn't anything fancy, but it looked clean enough. I shrugged in response.

We headed over to the motel without seeing the diner owner off, which I'm sure was fine with him. He walked inside, holding the door open so I could follow him in, and let it go. As the door slammed behind me, we walked over to the front desk. The man behind the counter was a lazy looking guy, both overweight and overwhelmed, who read his newspaper, even as we stood there before him. He glanced at us over top of the paper and let out, in a horse, but flat voice, "There's only one room left."

"That's fine." Idiot responded. I didn't care either way, since I most likely wouldn't be sleeping. My mind was still spinning with everything that happened today. I probably should have been exhausted, but I was still wide awake.

"500 gil." The man grunted, not taking his eyes off the sports page. The idiot pulled it out of his wallet, ready to hand it over, but when the man paid him no mind, he sat it on the counter. The man reached over, without looking and felt around for a key. He grabbed it and tossed it at my blond companion, who easily caught it. He shrugged at me and looked at the number on the attached key chain. He headed down the hallway and I followed him.  
  
  


"Hey!" The man stopped me, I turned and glanced at him, not about to pay him as much attention as he gave us. "I thought you were a girl from the side, sorry. I can't have no queers in here."

"He's my brother." I thought of quickly, of course, it wasn't very believable, but he accepted it. It wasn't like he could deny us our right to stay here. The idiot, however, had a frown in place of his usual blank expression. I walked over, following him, as if nothing had happened. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, holding the bulky door open for me as well. Once it closed with a loud, echoing thud, he reached over and felt around for a light switch. I made my way over to the bed, somehow able to see that much in the pitch black of the room. I sat on the end of it and kicked my shoes off. He finally found the light switch, and the room was illuminated instantaneously.  
  
  


It wasn't the brightest light, but it would do. I looked around the room, which was smaller than I thought. The bed was a twin, and I wasn't so sure about the cleanliness of this place anymore. Especially since the desk suggested this was some kind of hookup hotel. I looked over my shoulder and saw the attached bathroom, still darkened by the surrounding walls, only allowing me a peek of what was inside. I stood up and made my way into it, "I'm going to get a shower." I announced, only to make sure he didn't pull some asshole move like running water in the sink. I closed the door behind me, not bothering to lock it, because of how unnecessary it seemed. Maybe that was strange. Whatever.  
  
  


I turned on the water, to a nice, frosty flow, and I liked it that way. I turned the center knob to make the water come from the shower head. I slipped off my shirt and tossed it on the sink heedlessly. My jeans followed, which were still moist from the ocean water. I stepped out of the boxer shorts I was wearing, tossing them over to join the rest of my clothes and stepped into the chilly water spray. It was refreshing, and awakening, unlike that idiot in the room whom only made me feel worn out and exhausted.

_But oh-so-very alive._

The frigid water gave me a remarkable sensation on my skin, and it made me feel like I could deal with life again, even if just for a little bit. My body temperature rose to accommodate my surroundings, but it was too little too late, and I found myself just as comfortable. I stepped out after a quick run-through of the motel's shampoo, not bothering with soap tonight. The sand had long washed off my feet, so I felt better.

I pulled a white towel off the rack and wiped my torso and legs dry. I tossed that one onto the floor, as it was covered in sand, and picked up another towel. I wiped my arms off and began to tousle my hair dry. I allowed the porous nature of my hair to defeat me and slipped my boxers back on. I tossed the other towel to lay on the other. I still felt naked, so I slipped my t-shirt back on. That made me feel better. I wondered how unnerving I would be sharing this bed tonight.  
  
  


I took my jeans and brought them out into the room with me. I placed them on an empty chair and looked over at the blond who was now sitting on the bed, reading the latest issue of Timber Maniacs. Wearing a black tank and boxer-briefs which suited him perfectly. It might have been strange to stare at the other man like this, but he didn't seem to mind. Or notice. I doubted he would care anyway- his personality was demanding and eager. He wanted attention; all eyes on him.

I walked over, closer to the bed. My first time sharing a bed with someone, and it was someone I didn't even know. If that was supposed to make me feel dirty, it wasn't working. I didn't feel awkward or bothered at all. Was it that he was too comforting, or that I had dropped my guard? I slipped in beside him, ignoring the tight fit, and he finally seemed to notice the presence of my cold, wet body.

He gave me a once over and sat up. "That guy was right, you do kinda look like a woman."

"Well, gee thanks. That makes me feel a lot better."

"I didn't know it bothered you."

"It doesn't. I don't care." He didn't have to know anything. Apparently, I was good at playing hurt. Still, it was kind of annoying. Well, if he felt like being an asshole, I could be one too. "Besides- It spares me from having to deal with you."

"Oh? And how's that?" He smirked, cockily. He thought he had won, but I knew he had lost.

"You wouldn't be interested in anything feminine." I was using my usual, dry sense of humor, which I wasn't sure he caught onto right away. He blanched. I allowed myself to smirk.

"How'd you know?" He asked, quietly.

"Just a hunch." I shrugged. "The way you looked at that guy at the desk didn't hurt my hypothesis either." I turned my body to face him, as he was facing me.

"Well, you're still here, so it obviously doesn't bother you." His lips remained parted, like he wanted to say more. He didn't, though and I decided, for once to keep the conversation going.

I didn't know what it was about him, but he made me want to discuss things. He made me want to know, want to understand. "I never said it did." I saw him close his mouth completely and look away, up toward the ceiling. My words had made him feel at ease, as his body relaxed without his consent or detection.

"Well, I never said I wouldn't be interested in anything feminine. You made that assumption all by yourself." He looked back at me, straight in the eye. His eyes were still as womanly as ever. I wasn't making fun of him- not by a long shot. Seifer's eyes were beautiful, as beautiful as he was.

"Well, how do you figure?" I challenged. Perhaps, if the eyes truly were a window to the soul, he had a woman's heart. That would suit him, I figured- a big brawny guy like that would probably be into flowers or something. He needed some kind of balance. After all, if the world was turned upside down, there had to be some kind of magnetism to hold you down to it.

"I'm interested in you." He mumbled into his arm, which was placed underneath his head. Somehow, from his facedown position he was still able to look at my face.

"Oh?" I asked. "That's too bad." I turned away from him and allowed a smirk to replace my usual straight line of a mouth. He let out a snort and placed his hand on my arm. He rubbed at it, and for whatever reason, I allowed him.  
  
  


"What's your name anyway?" He asked again. I contemplated what I should say, but I figured I ought to at least know the name of the person I was sharing a bed with.

"Squall." I said, allowing that to slip into his ears. I knew it was a weird name. I grew up hearing that with every attendance checking teacher or every random adult that my mother introduced me to.

"Oh, yeah?" He sat up and scooted over, closer to me allowing the outlines of our bodies to blur together. "That's a good name for someone like you.”

"Someone like me?" I raised an eyebrow at him, allowing him to rest his arm on my stomach, if only to save us the room. Perhaps I was accepting his flirting, and flirting back with him.  
  
  


"Yeah, It's unusual—like you, a storm, a whirlwind—chaos, it suits you perfectly." I laid my left arm over my eyes to shield them from the light, and the blonde's onslaught of comments.

"And you?"

I ignored his compliments—if you could call them that, not out of complete disinterest, but rather, due to the sudden and abrupt answer he gave me. It was embarrassing.  
  
  


"...Seifer." He hesitated, and that made me think he was lying. I suppose he had plenty of reasons to lie, but it was irritating to find him being misleading when I was being flat out honest.  
  
  


I removed my arm and looked at him, trying to figure him out. To be honest, and to the extent of my knowledge about him, Seifer's name was much more unusual and authentic than mine. "Most people call me 'Cross' though." He continued, "No one calls me by my real name, anymore."

I wasn't sure how I felt about his nickname. It didn't really suit him, but the symbol on the forearm of his trench coat clearly explained everything. Although, I wasn't sure about Seifer's religious affiliations. "Your prison name?" I joked. He seemed to appreciate my dryer sense of humor, which was a rarity I didn't come across often enough. A snicker was all I needed.

It was pleasant to know that he was sharing my wavelength. Even more pleasurable to allow him into my world, even just a little. I didn't know it could feel this good to allow someone to take you away from your comfort zone. -Then I found it suddenly discouraging. He was probably the only person who could take me away from being my cold, aloof self.

"Well, with a pretty face like that, you can't be too straight yourself." He observed. I could tell that he wanted to touch me, but I wasn't about to let him get away with something like that. Well, with the exception of his muscular arm laying on my stomach.

"I never really thought about it, to be honest." I mumbled.

"Well then, let me kiss you."

"Do what now?" I watched him, trying to figure him out- was he serious? What could he possibly want from me? I had nothing unusual to offer him. My lips were as still cold from that shower. "...Alright, I guess." Did I change my mind that quickly because I really wanted him to kiss me? I wasn't sure. Maybe I was eager to throw away my "childhood", which seemed to be plagued by a shadow of mystery and uncertainty.

Maybe I wanted to become an adult and relax now. It wasn't like my lips were sacred or anything. If he wanted to kiss me, by all means, I would let him. There were certain things in life that people held precious but were so meaningless you could have tossed it away years ago, and been without it for the rest of your life, never thinking back on the day when you finally rid yourself of what you thought was important. That's how I felt anyway. I would let him kiss me. No matter what happened afterward. I would do this without regrets, without feeling something missing or wanting something to replace the feeling I had.  
  
  


So I nodded and laid there, on my back staring up at him. He gladly crawled over top of me, his left leg swinging over my torso to the other side of me. Not the most sensual way to do things, but I couldn't exactly call him, or myself, a sensual guy. I looked at him, and he looked at me. His feminine eyelashes fluttered closed, and back open, and he leaned down closer.

I felt rather stupid with my arms down against the sides of me, so I lifted them up and wrapped them around his neck, rather daintily, but there wasn't much else I could do. His body laid atop mine, but rather than suffocate me, it just gave me a blanket like feel. Of course, it was a heavy blanket, and this was summer, but with the air conditioner on it didn't feel like much at all. He had a nice scent, too. I didn't know when the last time he showered was, but this was his own personal scent. He smelled like the Earth. Like the top of a snowy mountain, surrounded by fresh, open air. There was a musky dew to him, but it was refreshing, invigorating, and energizing. He made me feel more alive than cold water would ever be able to.

His skin was smooth, and my fingertips slid over his lightly sun-kissed skin without feeling bumps and blemishes- that was until I reached the back of his shoulder, which I felt quite an abrasion. It felt like it was stitched. I ran my finger down passed it and counted them as I went. His flawless skin was so smooth, the blemish there, if you could call it that, was easy to detect and decipher. Thirteen stitches. It was a longer cut, perhaps a knife fight.

His eyes never left mine. He was allowing me to run my fingers down his shoulder, finding his vulnerabilities as if they meant nothing to him. He allowed himself to show me weakness, and for some reason it made me feel closer to him. I loved that he refused to take his half-lidded eyes off of me. I supposed he knew this was the first time I had ever done something like this. He had to have known. I was so inexperienced my fingers were shaking.

He allowed me to feel him, allowed me to take in everything visible, though his tank-top was still on and he wasn't as close as he could have been. My daintily wrapped arms pulled on him, lowering him to me. His arms slipped down, holding the weight suppressed by his forearms. He placed his nose on mine, a powerful nose, though it wasn't his most defining feature, it was certainly a focal point for his face.

I wasn't sure what to do at this point, but I couldn't keep him, or myself, waiting forever. Of course, I had never kissed anyone before, and I had to assume that he wouldn't know that. Despite that I was told I was good looking, I didn't have much experience with other people. Perhaps what my old classmate had said was true. _"You're an intimidating guy, Squall."_

If I was intimidating, what did that make Seifer? Persistent, maybe? I laid my head down, completely relaxing my neck, allowing him better access, and maybe, possibly, reassuring him. He took the cue and tilted his face to the side, pressing his lips against mine. Feeling their warmth overtake my entire face, making the feeling of the knot in my stomach untie easily and I felt myself coming apart.

My arms, which to this point had been loosely surrounding him, loosened even more, my fingers spread out and tightened as if they were claws. The sensation was so overwhelming, and I suddenly understood everything. I understood what was so wrong with tossing away a first kiss. It wasn't meaningless at all. It was the most enlightening thing I had ever experienced. I didn't want it to end, I would keep him there for as long as possible.  
  
  


His tongue slipped out and licked against my lip. I knew my mouth had to open, but what to do after that, I hadn't a clue. I could wing it, but it was risky. It didn't matter if he wanted to make fun of me. As long as he kept the sensations coming, I would grin and bear it proudly. His tongue slipped right through and massaged itself against mine with its warm caresses.  
  
  


He tasted like winter. A frigid, but heartwarming feeling, filled with passion and lust. It was as if he was driven to the fire like his life depended on it. The snow fell through, and the blizzard began. The smell of snow was everywhere. Inescapable and infallible. Passionate and consuming.

My tongue acted on its own. It brushed his teeth, slipping in and taking him over like he had done to me. Nothing but this mattered. The world couldn't tear me away from him. I couldn't be moved from this spot, regardless of how hard anyone would pull. The kiss ended too soon, but left me with something I didn't have before. It was like the missing piece had joined the rest of me. I felt complete.  
  
  


There was an overpowering emotion that swept through me with some kind of ease I didn't think I could allow, and I found myself unwilling to let it go just yet. I knew in time that feeling would fade, and perhaps even the passion would be gone, but I held onto it with my fingernails dug in, and my teeth sinking, with pain shooting up my jaw. I wasn't going to let it go until I was ready. I would die before letting it go.

He rolled over on his back and laid beside me, silently staring at the ceiling and allowing the world to continue spinning. I turned to him and watched him stare. I couldn't help but wonder what he used to think, and what he was thinking now. About the world, about this room, about me. I wanted to know how he felt about me, and it was the first time I ever gave a shit.

He let out a yawn and stretched his torso out, his left arm extended. His relaxed arm made a swiping motion and ended up at the crown of my head. Not sure what to do, initially, I just allowed him to lay like that. I eventually figured it out and lifted my neck. He pulled his arm down a little farther, finally resting it underneath my shoulders.  
  
  


Although he was muscular and bulky, he wasn't entirely uncomfortable. What he lacked in softness, he made up for in warmth. Thus, I found myself entirely wrapped up, and nuzzling against a man I hardly knew. It seemed fine anyway. Whatever happened tonight would be wholeheartedly consensual. Though, due to the heaviness of our eyelids, I doubted anything would happen. I looked at him, and he turned to look at me.

Somehow, we had a connection, and I rolled over to make it physical. I curled against him, placing my arm on his chest. I placed my head against his chest so I could feel his heart beating. I loved the sound of his breathing, which was sharp and steady. He had a better lung capacity than I did, but occasionally we would take in a breath at the same time, and for some reason it made us feel closer.

* * *

 

**Hey guys, read part two as well!**

 


	2. Prologue Part Two

I woke up the next morning, nestled in his arms. It made me a little bit hot in the face to wake up like this, but when I looked down and saw our bodies, forming together to create a whole, I brushed the embarrassment aside. I leaned back into him, allowing his scent to fill my nostrils. I was surprised though, when he chuckled a little at my behavior. I didn't know he was awake.

"Hey there." He smiled at me, and his eyelids were still droopy from his slumber. I was wrong about thinking he wore makeup. His eyelashes were still full as ever. I wonder if anyone ever told him; I wonder if he noticed himself. Probably. They were rather dominant on his face. He was incredibly gorgeous: A model. A sample of what humankind was before Pandora opened the box. And all the while, he was just laying there, staring at me, as I was staring at him, as if meager little me could ever become anything bigger. Did he think of me as I thought of him? It was too hard to tell. Seifer was an open book, he was easy to read, but maybe he was a college physics textbook where I was still a child. I didn't understand him, but I longed to.  
  
  


Seifer rolled over and looked at the glowing red digits on the alarm clock beside the bed. He chuckled and sat up, "As much as I'd like to lay in bed with you all day, our room won't be ours in five minutes."

With that, he got off the bed and grabbed his pants off the chair. I joined him in getting dressed, trusting him without question. When I turned around, however, I saw him still without his shirt, hunched over the table. I would have been worried, except he didn't seem distressed. I figured he was reading a map or something. I somehow knew he was okay. He was in good spirits- Everything was fine.

"Alright." He announced, turning around and pulling his shirt on. "All ready." And we left. He tossed the key at the doorman, who had so rudely handled us last night. We laughed about it as we walked away from that damned motel.

"Do you feel like breakfast?" He asked me, pointing with his thumb back to the diner we ate at last night.

I shook my head no. "But if you feel like it, we could stop."

"No, that's alright." He smiled and we walked together, even though we didn't know where we were going yet. That was fine, with both of us. "So how old are you, anyway?" He asked me, rather randomly. I supposed he was trying to make conversation. He was kind of good at it. He got me to talk, after all.

"17." I answered, "I'll be 18 next month."

"Ah. So we'll be the same age for a while." He grinned a little, like he was amused by the whole thing. There were a lot of things I wanted to know about Seifer too, but everything I wanted to know was so irrelevant and unnecessary. I just... I wanted Seifer to surround my thoughts; my hopes; my dreams- everything. I wanted to know his breathing pattern, his thoughts before going to bed, what made his heart pound, what made his heart stop, how far about the blinks of his eyes were, how close he could get to the sun without getting burnt. I knew it sounded crazy. Absolutely, one-hundred percent off the wall insane, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted him more than anything else in the world. He took me over. He consumed me, and it was utter bliss.

Nothing mattered anymore. We kept walking, pursuing on like we knew where we were going the entire time, our hands, at some point, had slipped together. This was a subconscious effort on both of our parts. I knew this, because we both looked down to see them. Like magnets. We just smiled at each other and kept walking. His hands, which were quite warm in the palm, but spread out to cold fingertips, were big enough that mine would fit with room for another hand. Though we both knew that no one else was welcome. It was a mutual decision reached after little to no debating. It was just common sense to us.  
  
  


After walking a while, perhaps a mile, or a mile and a half, we came across another diner. Although this one looked a smidge more amicable. The menu selection was also wider. Breakfast it was, then. We stepped inside, him before me, and sat down at a booth. The typical colors made me smile a bit. Black and white tiles, and red furniture.

It was a comfortable atmosphere, and the music was at the right volume to be relaxing. Seifer was leaning on his elbows over the table. Staring at me, with a half-assed smirk on his face. One of his eyebrows was slightly raised ironically. "What?" I asked, almost leaning in on my elbows to join him. I restrained myself, thinking it might make the waitresses nervous.

"You're smiling. I like it." I didn't have any reason not to smile. Life was fine. Perfect. He was perfect. I chuckled a little, not giving him an answer, but allowing him to come up with his own. I'm sure he liked it that way.

The waitress came over and gave us our menus, bowing her head politely, she went to attend to other duties. Seifer glanced down the middle page and decided what he wanted.

"What do you want to do with the rest of your life?" He asked me. He was using some kind of tone: empty, hollow and distant, that I didn't associate with him. I looked up, to see a detached look across his features. He was looking to a man sitting on a bar stool, reading a newspaper. On the front cover of that newspaper was the headline, "GalBadDia Issues Draft", which I immediately understood to be due to the Estharian war. There was a picture underneath, but I didn't bother looking at it. The headline was more than enough. It all made sense then. Why Seifer would want to go to a rundown place like Winhill. He **was** eighteen, after all.  
  
  


It struck my interest even more after I thought about it. Seifer was a big guy, with a toned body and a sound mind. He wasn't afraid...was he? To avoid the subject, for now, I simply answered his question. Disregarding everything else. "I always wanted to be a writer." I answered, shifting my feet under me.  
  
  


"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." I said, trying to think of something else to say. I never had this problem before. Usually, I would end up being spiteful and saying far too much. "I'm going to Balamb University."

"That's good. I'm proud of you." I looked up at him, not expecting him to say such a thing. He had a normal look on his face again, so it looked as if I distracted him from his problem.

The waitress came over to our table, she was an older woman, probably in her sixties. Old people usually made me nervous, but she had a calming effect immediately. Seifer also seemed more at ease: his shoulders had drooped, and he laid his arms on the table.

"Hello dearies," She leaned in, smiling at us all the while. "May I take your drink order?"

I figured I would just have coffee. I glanced at the back of the menu to glimpse at the beverages one last time. They had a wide variety of fruit juices, but suddenly typical, ordinary orange juice seemed perfect. Seifer didn't seem ready to order just yet, so I decided to take my turn first. "I'll have a cup of coffee and a glass of orange juice, please." I finished with a smile so she wouldn't think me rude for ordering more than one drink.

Seifer smirked. "Well, same for me, except I think I'll have apple juice instead."

Instead of being surprised, she just smiled. "Coming right up." She disappeared into the back.

"Seifer," I paused, waiting for him to acknowledge me. Much to my pleasure, he did so quickly, without hesitating. "Why didn't you go to college? You seem intelligent enough." I wanted to add things to that sentence. I wanted to tell him my dreams for the future, but the words wouldn't form. The feelings were there, and I believed he could feel them through me, but the words wouldn't come past my lips. They hung off them and died within seconds.  
  
  


"I was expelled from my high school and I never bothered looking for another one." He answered bluntly. I wasn't expecting that, but something about it made sense.

"Why?"

"I can't follow simple rules and procedures." He recited. He shrugged and looked back down at his menu, ending the conversation as quickly as it began. Usually, I would be disgusted by something like this. High school was nothing. I never picked up a book and ended up a scholarship student. Anyone else could have read some words and done the same. I wasn't anything special or unique. If I could do it, anybody could. Despite this, Seifer's lack of a graduation certificate didn't bother me in the least. I wasn't exactly proud of him, but I understood his circumstance. Seifer didn't seem disappointed, so I wouldn't be either.

"What about you, Seifer?", I pulled a napkin out from the dispenser sitting on the table and looked back at him. "What do you want to do with your life?"

He shrugged his masculine shoulders, making the zipper on his coat jingle audibly. "I never thought about it." He looked at the ceiling, probably trying to avoid eye contact.

He was still an open book, and I was learning the lingo quickly. Could he read me just as easily? It was a strange feeling, to feel like you knew someone whom you never met before while still trying to learn more about them.

He cleared his throat, with a deep cough. "I always thought I'd be some kind of-" He stopped, shaking his head. "I don't know. I pretty much just thought I'd use my body. I don't have much else.

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know about that." Seifer did have a wonderful body though. He'd make a great construction worker or whatever. He could do anything he wanted to. I knew this, because I could do anything when I was with him.

The waitress delivered our juice and coffee. We smiled at her and looked back at each other. Through eye contact, Seifer told me to order first. I did so. "I'll have the country fried steak and eggs, with a side of fruit. Oh, and instead of the toast, may I have a bagel with cream cheese?"  
  
  


"Certainly." She pulled out her notepad and wrote the short version of my order down. She halted her pen and turned to Seifer. "Bacon and eggs." He answered simply, but then decided to continue, "but I'm interested in this 'eggs Florentine Benedict' thing you have on here. I'll try it."

She looked a little surprised. "My, you boys certainly have appetites this morning! Ah, well, you're growing boys, after all." She collected our menus and headed into the back to deliver our orders to the chef.

"Where are you from?" This time, it was me trying to start a conversation. Seifer didn't seem surprised by the sudden interest. Rather, he seemed to notice he rubbed off on me, even in the short time we've been together. He smirked before answering me.

"Well, I was born in Dollet. Spent most of my life in Timber, though." He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling his hair back with it. He was attractive with his hair in any fashion he chose. "Until it got taken over, I mean."

"Then why are you here?"

"It was the best place to escape to, but I figured I'd be safer in Winhill because of its immunity. I have an uncle there anyway. Never had anybody in Dollet. Timber, I had my girl, but that's long past over."

"Your girl?"

"Yeah, General Caraway's daughter, if you'd believe it." He sipped his juice but looked eager to continue talking. "We had a summer fling together, that is, before I knew who her father was. I mean, I couldn't say it was romantic, we didn't do anything together, but..." He shook his head. "She started to want me to go to black tie events with her, and... That's just not me."  
  
  


He put his elbow on the table, ignoring any etiquette he'd ever learned, if any, and leaned his chin on top. "She did other stuff that really pissed me off too, while we were together." I was listening, but I really didn't want to hear it. "She bought a dog a little while after we got together. Named it Angelo, like it was precious or something." Seifer's nostrils flared with disgust. "I hate dogs. Don't ask me why--I just do."  
  
  


I sipped my coffee and said nothing. I noticed I was drinking it black for the first time. I kinda liked it. It was a good change. Then I realized it was bitter- Just like me.

"Oh, sorry. Hyne, what about you, Squall?"

"Balamb, born and raised." I lied quickly. It felt natural enough. He believed me, either way.

"Hm." Was all he said as he stirred some sugar into his bitter drink.

"No romances to mention?"

"No." That was the truth. I placed my coffee mug back down and rested my arms on the table instead of on my lap. I figured I might as well change the subject to something more fitting, but I didn't need to. The silence between us was also comfortable.

"After Rinoa, I figured I liked guys better anyway." He winked at me from across the table. It unnerved me, but it set me at ease.  
  
  


He was so weird...

"So, why Balamb University?" He was pouring creamer into his coffee. "Wanted to stay close to home?"

"Well, since I'm a citizen of Balamb, I figured it'd be cheaper than roaming off. It's not like I have anything here." I left my drinks alone, for now, knowing I would rather have them later after I'd eaten.  
  
  


"I see." He stopped fussing with his drinks for the moment. "Why writing? You wanna be a novelist?"

"Journalism runs in my blood, but I never wanted to do anything like that. I'd rather write... other things, I guess."

"You'll have to let me read your work sometime." He smiled.

"Maybe." I said, shrugging. I didn't think the kinds of things I was used to writing would strike Seifer's fancy. I got caught up thinking about sharing my artistic talent with Seifer, so much so, that time escaped me and our food had arrived before I was ready to eat. Seifer dug right in, dabbing with his napkin at the greasier parts of his bacon and eggs. He let his egg-Benedict be. He scooped up a forkful of his bacon and began to eat.

I cut up my food into smaller pieces and ate slowly, chewing every bite thoroughly and swallowing anxiously. Seifer tended to eat, well, like an abnormal person. Not that I ever had an affinity for anything "normal", but Seifer stuck out like a sore thumb in ways I couldn't even begin to explain. As we sat there, eating, we watched each other, smiling all the while.

Time continued on, floating like water through our fingers. It was the best time I ever had eating with someone. We finished our meal and when the bill had arrived, we each laid our fingers on top of it. He gave it up without me having to put up a fight. I took the bill and pulled out my credit card. I walked over to the cash register to pay, and then we left together. He traveled the same way we had been before.

"Good food." He mumbled. He grinned, obviously enjoying the flavors still radiating off his tongue. I agreed without making any kind of verbal affirmative. He didn't need to hear my words, because he already knew how I felt about it. That's how I felt, at least.

I didn't exactly know where we were. Driving, I would have gotten out of this place and into more familiar territory in no time, but walking left me at a disadvantage. I knew we were just heading north, but it seemed like we were off in the middle of nowhere, doing absolutely nothing. Most people would be discouraged, or disappointed in the fact that life was passing by with wanton destruction, leaving nothing in its wake. I was fine with it. Perhaps because this mysterious open book, that was thrown on my lap was leading me around.

He had something grand about him, and it seemed like nobody could see it except me. I wanted him to stay close. I wanted to walk around in this Garden of Eden forever. It didn't matter if I didn't get to go back to school, or work, or do anything. I didn't need money or a place to live. I didn't need anything as long as Seifer was there. How insane was I exactly? I couldn't tell. I had to be pretty far gone by now.  
  
  


Together, we walked, letting the mileage on our feet add up. As we headed in that far-off northern direction, we shared everything and nothing. We just talked, about memories, hopes, and dreams...

_Everything._

We heard a train whistle a short distance away and made our way up to the steel lined tracks. We stood on them, walking on the railroad tracks without a care in the world. We didn't have anywhere to be or anything to do. We weren't quite ready to head into town yet, but it was within our sights.  
  
  


Seifer looked around us, spotting the shore nearby, he took my wrist and pulled me along with him. The shoreline was by no means large, it couldn't be called a beach or anything. We headed over there anyway, only because Seifer wanted to go. His resolve was captivating, and the thought of going against his wishes made me weak in the knees. He tore his jacket away from his body, tossing it carelessly into the wind. The weight of it pulled it back to the earth in a crumbled heap.

We stepped onto the sand with the crunching of the tiny rocks beneath us. There were seagulls swarming the area in search of food. Upon our arrival, many scattered in different directions, the braver among them continuing the hunt. Seifer sat down quickly, and I could hear all his weight collapsing on the ground. I was unaware how strikingly heavy he was. Perhaps if I paid more attention, I would have realized the difference in our size to be rather immense. He, however, paid no mind to anything of the sort, and his indifference was quite contagious.

His strong, muscle-hardened arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I allowed myself to be scooped up without question. I didn't need a reason to be close to him, rather, it was more natural than keeping any distance in-between his body and mine. His breathing was slow and even, calming me even more than the sound of the waves crashing along the shoreline.

"I always wanted to be like this sand." Seifer said quietly, mumbling to me so the seagulls nearby wouldn't be able to hear. We had made a habit of whispering to each other. We couldn't exactly explain our reasoning, but it was something like… we wanted everything we said to be a secret from the world. We wanted our thoughts to be shared with each other, but the air wasn't allowed to listen; not allowed to carry the words to another ear. We were to be a complete enigma to the grass and rocks.

I leaned back against him, sliding my head to the other side of his chest, just so I could look up at his face. I tilted my head too, not understanding the meaning behind his words. "I always wanted to be pulled away, dragged off into nowhere and just disappear." It was strange to listen to something like that from him. He was much more sociable than I was. He liked talking, and he loved being listened to. I was sure that if he could rule the world, he'd want to.

I placed my palm on his cheek, dragging him away from his thoughts, forcing him to look at me, lying limp in his arms. I wanted to be a burden for him, so he would notice me and only me. Too preoccupied to notice the sound of the waves or the calling of the gulls. I wanted him to focus on me. I didn't want him to disappear. "What? You wanna go with me?" He asked, a hint of joking in his voice.  
  
  


He was being ambiguous and bittersweet. He was pulling me along on a string, cutting it, and going off in multiple directions, leaving me stranded. He leaned down, and took my lips in his, kissing me with that passion that always burned in him. He was hotter than a solar flare. His kiss left me with feelings I didn't want to get rid of, but I didn't want them to stay forever- I didn't want to get overwhelmed and corrupted by them. I thought they would fade with time, but as the seconds dragged on, they only grew inside me. I wanted to evolve with them. He pulled away from me, continuing to stare out into the nothingness this world had to offer. Empty and hollow, but still able to be filled, I hoped.

I grasped at his shirt, forcing him back to me. I couldn't let his wandering thoughts take him away from me. I would fight tooth-and-nail to keep him here, with or without me, because Seifer was worth more than life. I once again tore his attention from the outside world, allowing him to make our lips one again. I felt more passion, more attentiveness, less loneliness, more wholeness. We ended up on our sides, lips still firmly pressed together, our mouths opening, as if to suck the other's soul clean out of his body.

I ached for him, my heart pounded for him, and I was rewarded handsomely. But Seifer didn't like that he was the one being kissed. No, he wanted to be the one doing the kissing. He rolled me over, pouncing on me like a tiger, ruthless for the hunt. Passionately assaulting me, making me his, and his alone. I pushed back on him, wanting to make him mine just as much as I was his. Wanting him. Every part of him, his loyalty, his passion, his thoughts...

We battled like this long and hard, our hands gripping onto each other with everything we had, and we ended up in the ocean, ignoring the wetness of our clothing and hair, just laying there soaking up salt water and getting sand in between our fingers. We lay there, his head on the shore, and our feet in the water, with me, sprawled out on top of him, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around me protectively, holding me there as if the ocean might steal me away- I knew the feeling.  
  
  


He looked me in the eyes and I felt the Earth stop moving. His fingers ran through my wet hair, pulling it back, much like his own, except my hair didn't look quite as nice in that style. "You look even more like a girl when you're all wet."

"Look who's talking, girly eyes."

"Oh! Now it's on." He flipped over, forcing me onto the sandy water. He stood, but I got up quicker. I managed to push him over, which was miraculous in itself, due to his size, and he fell down into the water, splashing me in the process. He got up quickly squirting a mouthful of water at me. I dodged it, to which he retaliated by grabbing my ankle, knocking me down to join him.

We wrestled like this in many different positions and became exhausted because of the heaviness of our clothes and the breaths we had to hold. We still managed to find something funny about our current predicament and lay there on the sand laughing. A wave came up out of the blue from behind, and we each got another mouthful of saltwater. I ended up choking it out, but Seifer seemed fine. He was worried about me though and immediately started patting me heavily on the back. After all, the water was gone, and I was done hacking it up, we started laughing again.  
  
  


We laid there on the beach, watching the clouds dissipate away from the sun, allowing it to hide from the world for a while. The fronts of our bodies were nearly dry, our backs were still soggy due to the lack of sunlight. I picked myself up, into the sitting position, standing up was a little hard. I suppose I injured myself without noticing. "It's getting late." I said.

He looked at me and sat up. He glanced around for his jacket, spun around on his knees and pushed himself up. He walked over and scooped up his jacket. He draped the jacket over my shoulders and wrapped a protective, loving arm around me. He led me into town like that, not caring that the end of his coat was dragging along the sand due to my height, or lack thereof.

I leaned against him, my wet hair against his chest. Balamb was quiet tonight, unusually so. We stepped onto the paved streets, just walking, heading in any direction we found fit. "I suppose dinner wouldn't hurt." Seifer mumbled.

I gave him an approving nod and allowed him to lead the way. Any place in Balamb had something good on the menu. I wasn't particularly in the mood for anything special, so wherever he wanted to go, was where we would walk to. He stood indecisively at the street corner, looking back and forth between the bar and the café. I couldn't say I blamed him. Seifer was old enough to drink here in Balamb, but the café had an older, more traditional feel to it. He looked at the café one more time, and then turned and headed for the bar.  
  
  


"Okay with you?" He asked me. I nodded, perfectly fine with anywhere we were to go. We stepped inside, and took a seat in a booth on the opposite side of the bar, against the wall underneath a picture of a far-away place I didn't think I'd ever visit. I shrugged out of his jacket, keeping it behind me for warmth's sake. He picked up a menu and glimpsed over the choices.

"Why do you want to be like the sand on the beach?" I asked him suddenly, catching him off guard. He just stared at me like he didn't know what I was talking about. I'm sure he did though. As he thought about it, he became more and more aware.

"You never felt that way?" He looked back at the menu, hoping that somehow, that would be enough to dismiss me and ease my aching to know. It only made things worse for him- but maybe he knew that. Maybe he was provoking me.  
  
  


"Yesterday morning. Right before I met you." I answered honestly. "But I didn't want to be sand carried away in the tide. I wanted to be like clouds, careless little clouds that move along with nothing to do-"

"-And nowhere to be." Seifer finished for me. The exact words I wanted to use. It was like he stole them from me, knowing he could give them more meaning, more definition than I would ever be able to. I looked up at him, staring into those bright cyan colored eyes, which although masked by a graceful femininity, were passionate and piercing in their gaze. I finally understood what Seifer meant. I didn't need to say anything more. I was being so foolish and utterly naïve. I didn't want to embarrass myself any further. He felt my embarrassment and shifted his legs under the table. His knees brushed against mine, which in a weird way, comforted me. I supposed it worked the same way as it did with shoulders, minus the cultural influence.  
  
  


"You want a beer?" Seifer asked me.

"Can you?" I asked. He knew what I meant.

"Yeah. Girls like this are easy." He thumbed over to the waitress, a young and petite brunette, who was busy scribbling down an order from an older man, whose hair was slightly askew and stress building up behind his eyes, after his day's work. I took the subtle hint from his choice of words and decided not to say anymore. She bowed to him, apologetically, and grabbed his menu. She ran the order over to the bar and came back quickly with his draft beer.  
  
  


Seifer glimpsed at the beer list a final time. She dropped off the beer for the older man in the corner before coming to our table. She looked like she knew what she was doing, but was having a hard time keeping everything together. Seifer flashed that oh-so-charismatic smile. In another time period, I would have compared it to James Dean, but Seifer was much more desirable than he had been. If they were in the same room, James would be sweating. Hell, if Seifer was in spitting distance, Mr. Dean would have found himself on fire.

This girl was just as susceptible to Seifer's charms as anyone else. I couldn't imagine anyone not falling for him. He was the most gravitating person I've ever met. I was drawn to him like a moth to the flame, and I didn't know how bad my burns were going to be yet. Maybe if I was lucky, I would turn out to be fireproof.

"Hello dear." Seifer's voice lacked his normal sincerity, but there wasn't anything sinister about it. In other words, he was covered in sugar. It was a wonder to me that someone with a silver tongue like this could get kicked out of high school. He must have done something pretty impressive.

She gave a shy smile. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"We'll each have your most expensive draft." That coating over his voice was just dripping with moistened sugar. She glanced at me with an unsure look but looked back at Seifer. He looked older than 18 of course, but mostly due to his unusual height and sharpened facial features. I'm sure, compared to him, however, I looked delicate and youthful.  
  
  


"Alright..." She was still rather unsure.

"Wonderful." Seifer smiled with his eyes, in a faux-fondness that lingered throughout the air between them. “We'll also start with an order of fries.”

"Certainly." She smiled, seemingly more comfortable with us and our choice of beverage immediately. In truth, it was more like she was distracted and bewitched by Seifer's charisma.

Seifer turned back to the menu. "I'll be having the fish sandwich." He pointed on the menu to indicate which one. She nodded and collected his menu before turning to me.

I cleared my throat, due to all the falseness in the air taking my breath away. "Shrimp Alfredo for me." I looked away, handing her the menu on the side. She took it and stacked it against Seifer's.

"Your order will be out in about twenty minutes. I'll be right back with your drinks." She smiled and walked away. Our beers were brought back rather quickly.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I pulled my eyebrows into glare at the blond across from me. "Did you have to?"  
  
  


His only physical reaction was to smirk back at me. "No, but I enjoyed it." He answered simply. He took a swig of his beer, allowed the taste of alcohol to linger on his tongue, and subsequently swallowed. He proceeded to lick the excess of his teeth with the tip of his tongue. He was flirting with me, so I couldn't help but smirk.

I leaned against my arm on the table, not caring about proper etiquette in a small town place like this. Especially not after Seifer's little show. I couldn't help but smile at him, though. Seifer was the type of person who did what he wanted, and I liked that about him- in fact, I adored it.

He smiled back at me, knowing full well he had won the battle I hadn't even known we were fighting. Our flirtatious smiles quickly escalated to full on laughter, much to the displeasure of the older man in the corner, who was, ostensibly, trying to get drunk in peace and quiet, who scoffed loudly enough for Seifer to hear over his low-pitched chuckles. Seifer, still smirking flipped the old man off from over his shoulder, not even bothering to look for a reaction.  
  
  


The old man definitely saw it, and grunted, before picking up his beer and once again downing a large portion of it. Seifer was too much for him, and he knew that. He was too intimidating to be trifled with.

Our food was placed in front of us before the twenty minutes were up. Our favorite waitress walked back over to tend to the old man's hurt ego with some beer-battered fish sticks.

We ate making small talk with each other over trivial little things. I tasted his sandwich, because he wanted some shrimp. I had to admit, his tasted better with the beer. We finished our meal, and the bill long passed arrived. The old man had staggered out onto the street some time ago.

Our poor waitress was stuck cleaning tables for the night. We watched her when her back was turned. She was a hard little worker. When she was within our vicinity, Seifer motioned her over. She came quickly, wiping her hands off on her apron, which was hanging off her slim hips, no longer reaching over her chest. "Did you guys need anything?"

"No, nothing like that, dear." Seifer paused, this time the usual sincerity was back, but it was combined with a sweetened honesty which meant he was truly sorry for what he had done. "We lied to you dear, he's not quite old enough to have this. We promise not to tell your boss or anything, so let's keep it our little secret."

Her lips pulled into a smile. "I kinda knew that much. You guys aren't that much older than me you know." She grinned. "Don't worry about it. My dad's the owner, after all. He lets me drink here, too. Some nights, anyway." It was a relief, but our burden wasn't quite lifted.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet, grabbing my credit card and handing it over with the bill. She scurried off to the register. I looked over at Seifer. "Do you have any tip money?"

Seifer shook his head. "I only have cash in large bills." I nodded and searched my wallet. Luckily, I found enough gil to be a reasonable tip. Seifer made an enlightened face and reached into his pants pockets. "I forgot. I found this on the hotel room floor." He tossed another 100 gil on the table. Now it was perfect. We hid the gratuity underneath a napkin with Seifer's empty beer glass lying on top, mostly as a cruel joke to make her think we didn't leave her anything.

When she brought my credit card and receipt, I signed quickly and handed that copy over, pocketing the other. She bowed to us on our way out, reminding us to have a pleasant evening. We would. We were together, after all.

I kept Seifer's coat close to my chest, absorbing the heat from the fabric, as well as the scent from in-between the threads. Seifer smelled wonderful- like fresh air and spring water. I allowed Seifer to lead the way through the suburbs, as he seemed to know where he was going. I supposed maybe he had visited the city in the past and followed along carelessly. "Seifer?" I finally asked when I realized we were basically just taking a tour of the city. He looked at me in response. "Where are we going?"  
  
  


"I'm looking for a car lot." He continued searching on his own.

"Well, there's one by the entrance to the city." I answered, knowing Balamb like the back of my hand. I'd been here several times, just to stock up on things I couldn't get at school.  
  
  


"Oh." He stopped walking, waiting for me to take the lead instead. Seifer didn't fit the role of the helpless lamb who needed to be led around; so instead, we walked side by side, making the thin walkway all the more narrow. There wasn't anybody else on the street tonight, so we were free to do as we pleased. Not that Seifer and I would mind sharing the same space. I didn't feel like questioning his motives on the matter of the car. I supposed he was going to rent one, but I didn't know what purpose that would serve. He wanted to go to Balamb when I met him yesterday, but now that we were here...  
  
  


That's when it finally occurred to me that soon, Seifer would be leaving. I didn't want him to go. It made me so... heartbroken. I stopped walking, dead in my tracks, the world bypassing me, leaving me standing there stranded and alone. My heart fell to the floor and shattered like glass, when I thought it was at least a semi-durable plastic. The pieces of my soul scattered in every direction, leaving me nothing to hold onto. The shadow on my face grew. The sunlight was blocked, so I saw only the light surrounding the figure that was Seifer, who had moved into the sun's path.

I felt gravity leave me and the pieces of my heart rising in my body. Like magnets slamming together with nothing in their paths, the pieces of my heart formed back together rapidly. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid- it stung like hell when I was pulling too slowly, but when someone came and ripped it off I felt nothing, but the end result was marvelously freeing.  
  
  


Chilled fingertips crawled up my cheeks, and sent shivers straight up my spine, as if it started at my tailbone. I jerked up, closer, into his arms, my thin body pressed against his hardened, toned build. I felt more vulnerable than a dismembered soldier left in the middle of the battlefield. I didn't want to die in his arms.  
  
  


His fingers, which had up to this point, been laying on the right side of my face, slipped down, passed my jaw to underneath my chin. I hadn't been able to shave in a while, so my skin texture was rough and jagged. He didn't seem to mind, though. His roughed, slightly chapped lips laid on mine.

My mind went completely blank, and I stood there, completely unable to even form a solid thought, let alone pin it down with words. He took my wild running thoughts and replaced them with solidarity. If he was my rock, my backbone, what was I supposed to do when I was alone? Would his presence in this one frame of time remain a still life painting within the depths of my heart?

His cold and steady fingertips found the clammy palms of my hands and slid through them, taking my fingers in-between his. Lacing them together effortlessly. Once the seams were sewn like that, it'd take a miracle to tear them apart. That confidence, that perfection was Seifer's very essence. I would never again doubt that those fingers were there. Even if I couldn't physically see them or feel them, they would be there. Even if just in the heat radiating off my fingertips. Doubting the legitimacy of Seifer's feelings, of the very emotion he put into his hand when it became one with mine, would be utterly maddening. It would drive me insane; like I wasn't alive on the Earth I was born on. Like I was in the twilight zone with no way home.  
  
  


He, himself, would be my soul when my soul was gone. He owned me, he could occupy my body if he wanted to. I wasn't sure how much sense it made to anyone else, but to me, it was as if all the secrets in the world were no longer mysteries. No longer puzzling questions, but answers for everything that was ever worth being curious about. The passion that flashed in his eyes for that instant was enough to last me for forever. Much longer than a photograph, painting, or statue that would eventually fade and whither away, but rather as an energy, never burning out or disappearing on me.

I followed him willingly again, traveling down the sidewalk, ignoring everything that wasn't related to us. He led me in the right direction, because even without me telling him, he knew what information I was trying to give him. He knew what I wanted and why. He knew everything I knew, directly from me, as I did him. He looked at a wooden bench near the entrance to the car rental lot. I sat down, knowing he was going to be a while.

I wasn't that interested in vehicles or anything of the sort. I'm sure he knew details, but his interest wasn't focused on them. I wasn't sure what Seifer's hobbies were, but he probably had a lot of them. I sat there, curling up with his trench coat. I didn't mind the weight of the material, nor the flooding scent of Seifer escaping from the gaps in the fibers. Rather, I enjoyed the warmth and his presence. I could tell from the patching on the inside that this coat was one of Seifer's most precious processions. The tattered pieces and the stitches inside were not from mistreatment, rather just worn out of love.

I wondered if he found it weird that I was sitting there, curled up in his coat, staring at the amateurishly stitched marks on the interior of the garment, thinking about how much he loved it. Maybe it was strange, but it hardly mattered. Seifer loved this trench coat, so I would love it too.

He came out of the building, with an employee in tow. They were talking about something pretty strange according to the look on the man's face. He looked as if Seifer had just proposed the most peculiar of suggestions. He eventually just nodded and went back inside the building. A man wearing a suit came out, who I could only suppose was the manager of the establishment.

I raised an eyebrow- unintentionally, trying to figure out what was such a big deal. I knew I wouldn't get any answers trying to figure it out for myself. Seifer was too far away to read, and the situation was over my head. I didn't think Seifer wanted me to know. That was fine. I had the utmost faith in him.

Seifer nodded, with an empathized movement, that he was indeed serious and knew what he was talking about. Perhaps he was trying to get a large discount. I didn't know. I turned my head around, trying to view the ocean instead. I hated not knowing- despite my trust in Seifer. I stared at the sky on the horizon, right above the water, watching as the seagulls traveled in circles pointlessly. Stupid birds who had nowhere to be and nothing to do.

A whistle coming from behind me startled me out of my lucid daydream. I looked over to see Seifer staring at me, motioning me over with a single tilt of his head. I stood and walked over, carrying his coat on my shoulders. He turned me with his hand, so he was at my side and reached his hand into his coat pocket. He pulled out his wallet, and I immediately noticed the weight difference. It wasn't anything major, but it was enough so that I felt less of a burden carrying the jacket around.

The owner walked back inside, and Seifer followed him. He held the door open for me, so I safely assumed he wanted me to be there as well. I followed him inside, standing mindlessly next to him while he signed papers and handed over forms of identification he had on him. He pulled out from his wallet, a large amount of cash in which he handed over to the man for counting. This made me cringe. I wasn't sure what Seifer was doing, but it didn't seem normal.

The man counted out the large bills, nodding in surprise when he saw that it was all there. He looked up at Seifer. "You sure about this?"

"Yes." He reached over the man's desk and took the key that he wanted. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew I didn't like it. He walked back outside. I followed him, still oblivious. He walked over to a car, which I could tell from the outside, had been seldom used. He opened the driver's seat door, and unlocked, electronically, all the other doors. I got into the passenger's seat. He put the key in the ignition and started up the engine.

Any normal person would have asked where we were going. Any normal person would have cared. I suppose any concept of normality for me went out the window a long time ago. He backed up, out of the parking lot, using only the overhead mirror as a reference. I supposed that's just how he was. Although I had never had an experience driving with him before, he seemed like he knew what he was doing. He turned onto the highway and began his journey on the road. He drove faster than I thought was necessary, but he seemed all right.

"You know... I'm not supposed to be driving." He said out of the blue. I became apprehensive, not necessarily upset or fearful, but definitely concerned for our safety.

"Oh?" I turned to the road, staring blankly, allowing the yellow dashes below us to travel at high speed behind us.

"I don't have very good vision, after all. Not much peripheral vision in my left eye to speak of, but I didn't want to hit any telephone poles on my way here, see?" He grinned at me, and I leaned on my shoulder against the window.

"Oh, shut up." Then I couldn't help it anymore. I let out an appreciative chuckle, and he joined me laughing. I loved Seifer's laughter more than any other sound in the world. It was loud and happy. If he found it funny: he found it hilarious. I wanted to hear him laugh all the time, if only because I was too concerned with the outside view of me to realize that it was okay to be happy- even if you had to be loud to do so.

I was somehow surprised when we pulled up to Balamb University. I guess it was inevitable that I would have to come back here. I didn't know where I was supposed to be, after all. Seifer just decided for me. I guess he made the right decision. He turned the key, killing the engine. We sat there in silence. So this was it. Seifer got out of the car and walked around to let me out. I got out of the car and stood beside it, looking like an idiot, waiting for him to make the next move.

He pulled me over into his muscular arms, holding me tightly, like he wanted me to break. I wasn't quite fragile enough to break on him; instead, my arms clung to him just as viciously-- with just as much intensity. Like this was the last time I would ever feel this way.  
  
  


I felt him slip his fingers in through my belt loop, pulling at my pants for something. Whatever he wanted from me, he was more than welcome to have it. Instead, I felt something being inserted into my jeans pocket. I tried to reach down and find out what it was, but Seifer's hand caught my wrist and he forced my arm back upwards.  
  
  


As soon as we made eye contact I was at a complete loss. I no longer wanted to fight him to find out what he had done. I didn't need answers- I needed him and only him. He crushed his lips against mine, even at the extent of hurting himself. His seriousness flustered me and I kissed him for what I suddenly realized would be the final time.

His coat was pulled off my shoulders, leaving me feeling naked and cold, but I didn't mind so much. He looked at me, his eyes flashing like lightning in the midnight sky, and he took off, running to Hyne knew where, leaving me standing there by myself, but not alone- never alone. The car sat there in its parking space, and I turned around, going inside the main resident building, for when he decided to leave. He deserved his privacy, I suppose. Even though it hurt that he didn't want me to find him, I knew that in his mind at least, it was the best option available. He always did make the right decisions.  
  
  


I walked inside the entrance and stared at the empty lobby. There were a few people in there, but they were insignificant and unknown. I never met them before, and I probably never would. Regardless of how many people were in there, the room would still be empty, because there wasn't any light here. I walked over, with my usual scowl in place, and my usual "too busy to talk to you" stride and made my way over to the elevator. I pushed the up button and waited for a short second before the doors swung open. Once inside, I was the sole person in the space, and it gave me a chance to investigate whatever Seifer had given me before he left. I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out the large metallic key. The key to that damned car in the parking lot. That stupid black 2007 Pontiac G6 was sitting out there, haunting me. I couldn't even see it, but the fact that it was down there waiting for me plagued me with an overwhelming sickness. I knew what it was there for.  
  
  


It burnt my chest. My eyes wanted to brim with tears, but my cheeks were pulling my mouth into a smile. I couldn't do both, but I couldn't pick one. So I just stood there like an idiot, staring at the key in my hand. Not knowing what emotion to express; not knowing what to feel.

Seifer had no idea what he was to me. He probably never would. I didn't understand why he had done this for me. Me, who had given him nothing and received everything. My heart beat for him, and yet I had nothing to give him in return. It burned me, and then froze me resentfully, and made me want to scream.

_What on Earth were you thinking, Seifer? What the hell did you mean when you handed me this key and ran off without a word? Where were you? What were you doing?_

I allowed my heart to ache. I allowed my anguish to burn in my stomach, and come out as fire in my mouth, using words alone. I allowed it to hurt me, but not too much- because I remembered he was there. Somehow, within those hours we spent together, a piece of him entered my body, and it wasn't going to leave anytime soon. That piece of him grew every single time I thought of him, and I thought of him often. Every second he wandered into my thoughts, seeds and water would be thrown around into the Garden of Seifer located deep within the pit of my heart. That garden would remain there until my dying breath.

* * *

 

**So that's the end of the super long prolouge.  Still hoped you guys liked it!**

 


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